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April 18, 2011 / The Ghost

The Shining

One of the worst movies ever.

Jackyboy wants to earn some money, so he becomes the janitor of a hotel which closes during the winter. One thing Jack didn’ t know, is that the hotel is build on an Indian burial ground. Yes. That is crazy. Here is where it all goes wrong. Jacky should’ ve gone home when he heard about it, so the story could have a happy ending. But noooo, they had to stay there.

So Jack loses it after a few days. He starts to see people who aren’ t there. Or are there? I couldn’ t follow. The barkeeper was there, as were two little girls. Jack gets an axe and tries to kill his family. But his wife and son run into a maze, where Jackyboy gets lost. Stupid, because he has an axe and could easily chop his way through the maze. Another big error by the makers of this movie: Stanlyboy. No, they let the actor freeze to death in stead (Which is also so very awesome by the way).

This movie reminded me of a series: How I met your mother. It is obviously based on this series. Ted is looking for his mother, Jack is looking for his wife. Marshall and Lilly try to have a baby, Jackyboy has a son. Barney, Ted, Marshall, Lilly and Robin like to hang out at the bar, so does Jacky. Come on Hollywood. It’ s so obvious. It’ s like you don’ t even feel ashamed doing it.

And then there’ s the title: “The shining”. I’ ve watched the movie five times now, but still haven’ t found anything shiny in it. Maybe the axe? Please let me know where the shiny thing is. Maybe I’ ve missed something.

My alternate title:

Do we need an alternate title? I think we need an alternate plot.

  • How I try to kill my wife with an axe
  • I’ m so awesome with my axe
  • I’ m gonna get killed in a maze
  • The Hotel of death (my favourite!!!)

The Shining on IMDB. Rate: 0/10.


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