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January 21, 2013 / The Ghost

Django Unchained

Can someone please chain mr. Tarantulatino?

 

 

The movie begins with Christopher Waltz who saves Django from slavery. Christophboy plays a nazi dentist in this movie. I really like how this plot is an extension of Inglourious Bastards. Waltzie is being transfered to the USA at the end of that movie. This movie begins when he has just picked up his life in Texas, as a nazi dentist. Fun fact: I didn’ t know they had plastic surgery back in those days? It’s really crazy how they managed to get the swastika of his forehead. Good job!

Now, this inconsistency didn’t bother me much at first, but as the movie moved forward I saw a ridiculous plot. People getting blown up and shot down. The dentist who isn’ t really a dentist. Sheriffs who are actually bandits. Negros who aren’t slaves. Who comes up with this?!?

The directing of this movie is some of the worst I’ ve ever seen. Quentin obviously does NOT know what he’ s doing. He already proved that in his other shit-movies: Inglourious Bastards, Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs and probably some other shit I haven’ t seen yet.

My alternate plot

Let Django be chained through the whole movie. This would be funny, and you save two letters in your title: “Django chained”. You can also leave the “D” out, since it’ s a silant “D”: “Jango Chained”. It’ s a win-win situation. 🙂

Also, I’ d change Quentin’ s name to Quentin Tarantulatino. It’ s a new sort of spider: one who is worthless and tries to kill people by boring their asses off.

Django Unchained on IMDB: 10/10. Because Quentin told it’ s going to be one of his last movies. That’ s some of the best news I’ ve heard in my career as the best professional reviewer on this planet!

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