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August 5, 2014 / The Ghost

Indiana Jones: Raiders of the lost Ark

Whilst writing my review about Lincoln, I realized I have not yet written a review about Indiana Jonas yet. Not that these movies are worth a review, but let’s do it anyway.

 

 

Let this review be a warning to you. Don’t watch this movie unless you have someone pointing a gun at you and even then please chose carefully and go for the shot.

In this first part of the Indiana Jones saga we learn to know Indy. He’s a gay archeologist chasing jewels from years back. Yes, a lot of people don’t get this when they see the movie for the first time. Of course my trained eye hardly misses a thing.
Throughout this first movie he tries to run away from his ex German boyfriend Dietrich. It’s a very complicated story about an amulet and something in an ark. I won’t get into details, you’ll have to watch it for yourself if you haven’t chosen to be shot. Anyway, long story short, Indy wins, the Germans lose and I invite Harrison Ford over to spend the night with me. Because I can.

 

I noticed one thing though in Spielberg movies. The characters need to wear hats. Indiana Jones, Hook, Alan Grant (Jurassic Parc) and Lincoln wear hats, Ryan (Saving Private Ryan) wears a helmet. Other popular items are chains, like in Amistad and Schindler’s List.
Please Stevie, at least be a little original.

 

Alternate titles:

  • Indiana Jones: Hura für Deutschland
  • Indiana Jones: Hats and whips forever
  • Indiana Jones: Spielberg fails again
  • Indiana Jones: Don’t watch this shit (so people are immediately warned)
  • Indiana Jones: There and back again

 

Raiders of the lost Ark on IMDB: 0/10. My points are also lost.

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