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August 13, 2014 / The Ghost

Amistad

One of the funniest movies I’ve seen this year. Steven, you finally did it!

 

 

This tragicomedy is about a cruise from Cuba to the USA for African people. It’s a theme cruise and everyone has to wear chains and run around half naked. When they finally arrive in the USA everyone thinks they are slaves who mutinied on their ship. LOL!! 😀 They are taken in captivity and the whole thing goes to trial where John Quincy Adams can finally set them free. What the hell did you smoke when you wrote this shit down Stevieboy?

 

Make it a prequel for:

  • Pirates of the Caribbean
    To make it more exciting I would put some zombies in it. They could eat their way through the crew and it would be a good prequel to Pirates. “Amistad” could become “The Black Pearl”, zombies are already on board and they are already bad ass.
  • Django Unchained
    I would also write John Quincy Adams out of the story. That way they can’t get free and would have to work on the fields in the south for the rest of their lives. In this case it could be a prequel for Pirates AND for Django Unchained.
  • Noah
    Just put some giraffes on board of that ship and Noah would be happy and the movie can serve as a prequel for all three enlisted movies.

Make it a sequel for:

  • The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
    At the end Frodo takes the boat out of the harbour and gets transported to Cuba where he makes this fun cruise with his African bro’s. He needs it. That trip to Mordor was some heavy shit.
  • Flight
    The plane crashed, so they’d have to take some other transportation. The pilot would fit in perfectly when chained.
  • The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn
    Captain Haddock and Tintin could use some help finding the real treasure they have just found a map for. This would be the perfect sequel! No need to make a second bullshit Tintin movie Steven and Peter.

 

Amistad on IMDB: 0/10. Because it’s obviously a copy of Boat Trip. Really Steven? Did you really think this would pass my trained eye without noticing?

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2 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. CMrok93 / Aug 21 2014 07:56

    Haha! Amistad? A comedy? You got me laughing! Nice post!

  2. The Ghost / Aug 21 2014 09:59

    I got you laughing? Unlike this movie my reviews aren’t made to laugh with.

    This motion picture should have made you roll over the floor, but apparently it didn’t. Only two things could have happened here. This Spielberg-guy failed AGAIN, or you didn’t get the humor in this movie. Given mr Spielbergs history in ridiculously bad film making, I guess it’s his fault.

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