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December 27, 2016 / The Ghost

The BFG

Steven named this movie after himself: The Big Fat Giant.

 

 

There’ s obviously not much to say about this movie. Some of the dullest people in Hollywood were working on this film. A list:

  • Steven Spielberg aka T-Rex
    Ruins every script he can put his hands on. Schindler’s list, Saving Private Ryan, E.T., Indiana Jones, Jurassic Parc. You name it. It sucked.
  • Roald Dahl aka The dead English dude
    Has only got two brain cells. But none of them are active. Steven bought his story so Roald wouldn’t have to whitness what he did with it.
  • Mark Rylance aka Rudolf
    Steven doesn’t even cast people for his movies anymore. He just reuses the ones from his previous movies.
  • Ruby Barnhill aka The Kid
    Calls herself an actor, but never starred in a movie before. Steven can’t even find professional actors anymore who want to work with him. What a loser.
  • Melissa Mathinson aka The Unknown
    I don’t know the woman, but since she works together with the four people I just enlisted…. She obviously must suck.

 

Let’s conclude with a joke: What’s the difference between a bicycle and Steven Spielberg? You have to kick harder on Steven 🙂

 

The BFG on IMDB. -56/10. Minus one point for every movie Stevieboy ever made.

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